My Psychiatrist....

My life was changing so quickly and I couldn’t understand why.  I had just gone through a divorce, lost my job and had lost all hope in ever reaching my dreams.  Everything was falling apart around me and as a result I became depressed for a period of time.  I started isolating myself from friends, family and just didn’t have a smile in my heart anymore.  This was a time where my weight started increasing rapidly.  I was using food to fill the emotional void in my life.  The reality of being a size 24 hit me when I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore.   

One day, I found myself crying uncontrollably and all I had were pillows, blankets, fast food and ice cream to heal an indescribable pain.  I had spent more than two months going through separation anxiety.   All I wanted was for it to be nighttime all the time.  I couldn’t stand the sun light inside my room.  Several people had mentioned to me how depression can influence your ability to function and go on about in life and so that’s when I decided to consider seeking professional help.  It was an opportunity to heal the pain after all I had been through.

After the next few months I found myself at a psychiatrist’s office, crying and telling her how my life was so unfair.  She immediately suggested medication to help me cope with the changes.  On my drive home, I had a new sense of hope and a renewed energy to fight back in life but, I soon as I opened the door of my home all the empty emotions were back in seconds.  I stood at my kitchen counter with a Zoloft pill and a glass of water in hand getting ready to numb my pain but, a part of me and my sense of self-worth said “Don’t do it.”  At that moment, I made the decision to overcome these life changes with two powerful sources I already had within me; “Faith and Belief.”

My follow-up appointment was scheduled with the psychiatrist.  I walked into her office with a new sense of confidence to discuss my decision not to take the medication.  She asked, “How to do feel with the medication?”  I answered, “I refuse to take it and won’t take it.”  She responded, “You are diagnosed with a severe case of depression and we have concerns about your life.”  I said, “Great but, I won’t numb myself through the process because I want to feel every emotion so that I can come out of this stronger than ever.  My Faith and Belief in myself won’t disappoint me.”   At that moment I walked out of her office and didn’t let her say one more word about my life.  I took full responsibility about my decision, took back control of my life and one step at a time, days were becoming brighter.

You have to believe there is something greater in store for you even when your only option is to feel sad and hopeless about your future.  The pain will eventually go away.  You have to believe it.  I encourage you to take ownership of every step with confidence.  You can overcome anything that comes your way! Trust me.

This is GOALYGO! :0)~



Yanira ALY Nazario